|name = John "Rude" Kalasatrakalis III
|gender = Male
|color = South-American
|eye color = ??? (Said to be brown)
|species = Human
|height = 5'9
|weight = 81.1
|aliases = ThatGuyWithTheGlasses
|friends = Midna, Brick, Reno, Gabe, Zant, Tifa.
|enemies = Ganondorf, Arhiman, Vanitas, Sephiroth.
|interests = Adventuring.
|portrayer = Rude
|birthday = 2/21
|family = John Kalasatrakalis II (Father), John Kalasatrakalis I (Grandfather and founder of Sunray Vision Sunglasses).